The "S" Thing...

Day 6

I had to buy a new (dare I say the word out loud?) SCALE.  My old scale was just that. Old.  I loved it because it actually was woefully inaccurate. It was off by a full 10 lbs.  This annoyed my daughter.  “Mom, the DOCTOR’s scale was HIGHER than this one.” 
“That’s okay, dear. Don’t worry about it.  Just add 10 lbs in your head.”

For me, it was a false sense of security.  I figured, if I weigh on the SAME scale it doesn’t matter what the actual weight is.  I just need to follow the trend.  Except the trend started upward.  So, I just stopped using it. 

Also, when I put the weight data from that scale in the weight watchers on-line “weight tracker” section, I looked FABULOUS!  My BMI was NOT as high as it really was. 

Scales.  Lady Liberty holds a scale.  Scales are a measure of equinamity and justice. 
To me, a scale is a taunting, screaming panel of shame.  “See what you’ve done to yourself?” it screamed each time I got on it.   I just stopped stepping on it.  I believe in running away from the truth sometimes.  At least until I’m ready to deal with it. 

I went to Target’s and bought a new fancy pants digital scale.  It’s actually a Weight Watchers’ branded scale.  I bought it because I liked the color.  It is a very lovely striped opaque glass with seafoam green alternating with a pale beige. Quite pretty.  The clear glass one was too stark.  I needed something a bit more opaque.  Literally. 

Of course, I weighed myself on it fully clothed, just like at the doctor’s.  Then I decided that was really not accurate because I won’t be wearing the same clothes each time I step on it.  Naked.  That’s the ticket. 

Wait, shouldn’t I do it before my shower so my wet hair doesn’t add pounds?  How about after using the john?  YES, all these thoughts went through my head. 

There are rules about facing the SCALE.  Weigh yourself once a week. 
Yeah, right.  I want instant gratification!  That’s how I got here, isn’t it?  I’m hungry, shove closest sweet creamy food in my face. 
Your weight will vary from morning to night and day to day by as much as 5 lbs from water weight. 
Yes.   Yes it does.  Fortunately, I’m close to “that time of your life” when water weight is less of an issue. 

I’m trying to break fewer rules.  I’m not allowing the car to pull itself in to the closest Baskin Robbins for a chocolate shake, or to Taco Bells (yes, I know, I live in the city with the best Mexican restaurants in the midwest and I still frequented Taco Bells) for a burrito or some other creation of theirs.
I’m making a menu and shopping to it. 
I’m keeping the house stocked with fruits and veggies (we always did that anyway). 
I’m stopping myself from eating seconds and I’m allowing myself to experience hunger without panicking. 

Scales.  Truth.  Blech.