Thursday, March 13, 2014

Disappearing Food Staples and My "In-speriment"

In my house, there are certain foods that disappear.
 I mean it. 

They literally disappear. Like a super power built into the food.

Take, for example, strawberry preserves.  I buy a big jar every week, along with a vat of peanut butter.  GONE.  I just want a little jam on my bread.  Nope. Sorry. GONE. 

Parmesan Cheese.  Does this happen to anyone else?  You have a HUGE bottle of the crappy Parm that comes out like powder, you go to get it out for a recipe's gone.  No one knows what happened to it.  NO one claims to have used the last of it.

Oh.  Then there are foods that MOVE.  All by themselves.  (No, they're not infected with bugs).
The craisins and the pretzel chips somehow end up in the living room--or the leftovers end up in the basement refrigerator, never to be seen again, until they're black and overgrown with mold.

Oh!!! Milk.  That's another one.  I could buy 4 gallons of milk a week and it will be gone in 4 days.

I suspect it's the teenagers in the house.  They're like vermin. They eat EVERYTHING.

For Lent, we are running an "Insperiment."

An "In-speriment" is an "Experiment" run In your HOME.  Never to be published in scientific journals, or to win awards.

The DoctorDiva's In-speriment

See how much fruit (fresh, dried) nuts, and veggies my kids will make disappear, by NOT buying any crap. 

"Crap" is defined as:  cookies, candy, chips, crackers, ice cream, cake, sugary cereals.  (granola bars are crap but they're not on the list.  I have my reasons. You can and should exclude them if you are able).

I will not be drawing up any tables or charts to show fruit/veggie consumption. I simply am making this an observational study (I know, I know, the worst type of study besides retrospective).

BUT if it works, if my evil plan works!  Well, then.  Muhaaahhaaaawwwwww!!!

I'm hoping to see the disappearance of pounds and pounds of fruit because THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO EAT.

Wish me luck. 


  1. My sons put parmesan cheese on: popcorn (they don't just season it--they DROWN it), pasta, rice, pizza. They will eat it out of a spoon if they're hungry and don't find anything else. :)

    1. Mine too! Plus peanut butter by the spoonful.Argh. I hate cleaning the peanut butter slimed spoons left thoughtfully in the sink for me to deal with, too.